Buried Feelings
by Shadowpika446
Summary: Six months after the Crystal Palace incident, Bartimaeus is being summoned again. His reaction is not really pleasant when he finds out Nathaniel never died in the first place, and has summoned Bartimaeus again. Nathaniel x Bartimaeus.
1. Chapter 1

_BARTIMAEUS_

My essence growled with annoyance as I felt the tell-tale pull of a summoning. As always, I tried to cling to the mass of particles that made up the Other Place; as always, nothing changed. Groaning with despair, I allowed the pulling to drag me from the place where I wanted to stay the most.

Nevertheless, the tugging which caused me to appear in this damned world seemed oddly...familiar. I struggled momentarily with the memory; why did it feel like I had endured this so many times before? Taking my preferred form, I decided to add a bit of flair to my summoning. As I materialized unwillingly, I let loose some think fog, hoping to creep out my new master. The pentacle in which I appeared was drawn on wooden floors.

"I am Bartimaeus of Uruk...Who dares summon me?"

"I do."

Those two words were all it took for me to realise, with a sudden jolt, just what was happening. In a blink of the eye, the fog had disappeared from my pentacle, confirming my suspicions.

Him, the one who had left my mind and soul in disarray; exhausted, in pain...and utterly bewildered.

_No...Not this. This is not happening._

All the memories came flooding mercilessly back and despite myself, I clamped my eyes shut, hoping if I shut him off from my sight, the raw flood of memories would cease. Of course, I wasn't granted that simple luxury.

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, the black blissfully hiding my view, but not soothing my soul. I had not been expecting this. I was sure as hell not prepared for this.

"Bartimaeus."

My eyes snapped open in a flash, my copper irises piercing him. Somehow, the way he said my name caused a sudden explosion of anger to engulf me. After the dismissal, I had drowned in guilt, I had suffered, cursed, screamed, but nothing had quelled the raging fire I had felt throughout my essence. It had left me confused at everything I had felt in the second I was still one with him before being wrenched away to the Other Place.

Looking at him now, I realised he really hadn't been worth it.

"...You," it was barely a whisper. All the pent up guilt, anger, confusion, every God forsaken emotion, thought and doubt which had accumulated since that event began to bubble and grow, painfully clawing their way to the surface of a place inside me where I was sure I had buried them for good. The intensity of which they hit me, all amassed in one big tempest, caused my self-control to bend under its almighty weight. It all but crushed me. "You! Who the hell do you think you are!?"

"Bartimaeus, please, hear me out-" Hear him out? After everything, he just expects me to sit there, listening like a puppy?

"What the hell do you think you were playing at!? You think this is funny, some kind of a joke?" I roared, my form blurring at the edges with fury. "_Bastard_! You horrible, worthless piece of shit!"

He was obviously angered at this; he clenched his fists at his sides, knuckles turning white. "H-Hey! What do you think-"

"Do you have_ any_ idea of what I have been through since then?" I didn't feel the need to explain myself. Oh, no, this brat was the only one going to be doing the explaining around here.

"Shut the hell up for a minute and let me speak!" Nathaniel yelled, stamping his foot. I snarled bitterly; the temperature in the room suddenly plummeted, the candles flickering.

"Oh, _excuse me_! Is that an order, dear _master_?" I spat out the word like it was venom. If the sudden change in environment affected Nathaniel, he didn't show it. He fixed me with a steady gaze, his pupils dilated with rage.

"Why are you angry!? I saved your life!"

"And caused me suffering, pain, confusion – a whole load of crap that I _really_ didn't want! AND YOU AREN'T EVEN DEAD!" What was happening to me? All these feelings were swirling throughout my essence, causing my self-control to waver. I knew some of them; anger, resentment, confusion, even a tad upset. But the others, I wasn't sure; did I detect a hint of...relief?

"Stupid spirit! Be quiet! Let me explain!" He screamed, beating a fist against his chest. "Look, I'm sorry for whatever-"

"_That's_ it!? That's all you have to say? _I'm sorry_!?" I seethed, shaking with rage, no longer in control of what came out of my mouth. "You left me in a world of guilt; you left me in pain; you left me feeling more confused than I had even been in my entire existence!"

"Bartimaeus! Please give me a chance! I had no choice! You would have died – even when I thought I was going to die, I still cared enough about you to let you live, even though I wouldn't be around to see it!" He pleaded, his voice cracking slightly. I grimaced.

"Why, _thank you_!" That dripped with sarcasm so much, I sort of felt the urge to punch myself. The boy – no, now that I properly looked at him, young man would be the correct word – cursed under his breath.

"Calm down, please! I will tell you anything you want, just...calm down." He said the words, slowly, taking deep breaths in between in an attempt to relax himself as well.

His words had some sort of affect on me; the destructive fire that had so far engulfed me began to die down. It was quickly replaced with a desperate need for answers, for comfort. After a pregnant pause – in which I managed to pull myself together enough to control my mouth – I sat down in my pentacle, still eyeing Nathaniel.

"...Very well," I said evenly.

"Did you want to die?" He suddenly asked, seriously. I admit, this threw me slightly, but then I remembered what I went through. My answer came straight from my soul.

"I would have preferred to die than go through what I did after you dismissed me." Nathaniel started, staring at me. I glared at the floor, hating his sympathy.

Silence. The only sound in the room was his light breathing. It took me a few moments to gather myself and look him straight in the eyes, which I had been avoiding ever since I had materialised. He gazed back, his bright blue eyes full of angst. Normally, I would have been able to hold his stare, but at this moment it proved too much for me. My eyes darted to glare at the lines of the pentacle. I heard him draw a deep breath.

"It's been six months since...Anyway, I didn't summon you because I thought...I was afraid of how you would react..." His voice trailed off. I looked up at him, a tense smirk on my face.

"I didn't know you were afraid of me, Natty boy," My smile grew wider as I shrugged. "Although I can't really blame you."

He clenched his jaw, now glaring at the floor in front of him. "For some reason, I was less afraid of you biting my head off – like what you just did – than if you acted completely indifferent..." He shook his head slightly, smiling to himself. "It's good to know I am something to you, even if it's your least favourite master..."

I stared at him, the smirk wiped clean off my face. How was I supposed to reply to that? I am normally never lost for words – thanks to my superior intelligence – but I was now, my mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"...D-Damned right!" I managed to gabble out, irritable about how he could affect me. "I can honestly say I have never suffered such abuse; you completely thrash all my previous masters in terms of ruthlessness!" This, or course, was a complete lie. It was true that Nathaniel had driven me to exhaustion, but he never really punished me for failure.

Nathaniel looked up at me then, the edges of his mouth pulled down slightly.

"Bartimaeus...I know I will never be able to make it up to you, to thank you for everything, but..." His voice quivered. "I want you to know that...I am dreadfully sorry, and I offer you my sincerest apology. I am also grateful beyond imagination for your services..."

_NATHANIEL_

The djinni sat there in its pentacle, staring intently back into my eyes, it's mouth hanging open ever so slightly. I was concentrating on not showing my grief, my distress. Of course I meant nothing to Bartimaeus; I had repeated it to myself millions of times in the past few months, trying to stop myself from summoning him. Nevertheless, his words had pierced my aching heart.

And all these feelings the spirit kept mentioning; they surely couldn't be the same feelings I myself had been experiencing; the feelings of grief, confusion, doubt, and – it made me shiver with contempt as I thought this – possibly even love...? Nathaniel couldn't tell anymore.

_No! Stop it! _I thought bitterly to myself._ That's just wrong, and it's against the rules–_

"Thank you..." The djinni's voice stopped his thoughts instantly. I gawped at Bartimaeus – had the djinni just accepted my apology? It looked just as surprised as I felt, as if it had let something slip.

"W-What?" The spirit continued to gaze at me with alarmed black eyes. "What did you just say...?"

"I said 'thank you', God damned it!" Bartimaeus suddenly burst out. It seemed distressed, angry, confused. It fists were clenched at its sides.

"Bartimaeus, what's wrong!?" The djinni shook its head, its eyes squeezed shut, its hands over its ears. I was alarmed, worried even.

"What is _happening_ to me?" It whispered to itself, panic and rage entering its voice.

"What do you mean?" I spluttered, now feeling panicky myself. My heartbeat began to pick up speed. "Bartimaeus, are you oka-"

"No! I'm certainly _not_ okay!"

"Are you sure? You're acting-"

"SHUT UP!" The demon suddenly screamed. Its eyes flashed open, focusing on me so intently I froze. I was no longer looking at a cool and collected spirit. I was now looking at a demon which has lost control. "This is all _your_ fault!"

"What?"

"Ever since you dismissed me, I have been subjected to these feelings! I have no idea what they are!" It temperature in the room was turning wild; one second I was shivering with cold, the next I was wiping my sweaty brow. The djinni's eyes never left mine. "I hate it! I wish they would all just disappear! I wish I had _never_ met you so that I wouldn't have to feel what I'm feeling! This is all your fault! I hate it! I HATE IT!" Bartimaeus yelled so loud, a massive tremor went through the ground. My already shaky legs couldn't support my weight; I stumbled and fell backwards out of the pentacle.

I honestly believed I was done for.

Quicker than the blink of an eye, I felt myself being slammed against the wall behind my pentacle, my feet dangling off the ground. I gasped as my bones rattled with the impact. Bartimaeus' strong hands grasped my collar, pinning me against the wall. I let out a strangled cry, clutching the spirit's wrists so hard my knuckles turned white. It, naturally, didn't feel a thing. My heartbeat going crazy, I shut my eyes, hoping my suffering would end soon.

"B-Bartimaeus!" I gasped, trying to pull its hands off my collar – to no avail. "Let g-go! G-GET OFF ME!"

"You stupid magician! What have you done to me!?" The demon yelled in my face, gripping me harder. "Why am I so...so...Why do I feel so _weird_!?"

"How am _I_ supposed to know!?" I spat, wriggling in its grip. Bartimaeus growled in frustration and shook me again, violently slamming me back against the wall, knocking the wind out of me.

"Because _you_ caused this." It hissed darkly. I opened my eyes, and was rewarded with the full glare of Bartimaeus, a few inches away, staring right into my soul. The djinni's eyes were dark pits of fury and angst. It growled again as I grasped its shoulder, struggling to pull air into my lungs.

"What the hell-"

"Tell me how to fix it, _boy_!"

"Maybe if you did what your body and instincts want you to do, you would be relieved!" I choked out. There was some reason to my answer – I didn't just blurt it out randomly; when you're sad, your body causes you to cry, which helps to relieve you of your grief. When you're in pain, your body wants you to stop and stay still so whatever has been injured will heal if you rest. I assumed that whatever Bartimaeus' problems were, the same method could be applied.

The spirit seemed to be aware of my meaning too, but instead of considering what it wanted, it snarled and lowered me to the floor, its hands loosened their grip slightly on my collar. I was too busy trying to drag air into my lugs to care. The djinni's face was still very close to mine.

"You couldn't even be able to fathom what I am suffering through!" It cried, now sounding desperate. "You have no idea! All I want is this crap to be _over_, so I can continue my existence without it consuming me from the inside out!"

"Do what your body tells you to do," I repeated, as calmly as I could, still out of breath. "Relax and try to think-" A hand slammed into the wall beside my head, stopping my sentence short, splintering the wood.

"_Relax_!?" It screamed frantically. "I _don't know_ what I want! I _don't know_ what my body wants!" It gave a furious howl. "I'm so _confused_! I just...I just-!" I had never seen Bartimaeus so helpless before. "I want no more! I just want it to stop-"

I have no idea why I did it. Maybe it was the sight of Bartimaeus so confused at its own emotions; maybe it was my pounding aching heart. Whatever it was, I have no clue.

I seized Bartimaeus' face between my hands and I urgently pressed my lips to his, cutting him off.

_BARTIMAEUS_

I instantly stopped my furious rant and froze.

He was kissing me. I was kissing him.

My tormented mind, body and soul suddenly calmed down. All the thoughts were wiped out of my mind. All reason was pushed out of my head at the complete bliss of the absence of the feelings I had been experiencing for the past six months. I gave an internal sigh. For some reason unknown to me, my body was reacting to Nathaniel's lips as a sort of antidote to my inner turmoil. I closed my eyes, completely forgetting what was happening at that very moment, simply relishing the peacefulness of my mind.

My mouth remained still, but they felt so sensitive all of a sudden. I could feel the pressure of the boy's lips gradually receding from my own. His shaky hands were loosening their grip on my face. My body reacted to the lack of contact between my lips and his. I gave an involuntary growl of displeasure, and automatically stepped forward, increasing the pressure of my lips against his, pushing him back against the wall. He gave a small gasp under my lips.

That little noise caused realisation to come flooding back to me. My eyes snapped open, and I quickly pulled away, staring at him in complete bewilderment.

I had kissed Nathaniel. And if that wasn't enough of an offense on its own, I had actually enjoyed it.

My hand remained on his shoulder where I held him at a distance. He was looking back at me, equally alarmed and surprised, but there was a glint of understanding in his eyes. I was staring back at him, mouth still hanging open from our brief kiss, completely astonished at my actions. I was so tense and frozen I could have been mistaken for a stone statue.

"I know what is wrong with you," he whispered. I didn't answer him. He leaned a little closer; still I didn't budge. I watched his every movement. His answer was ushered quietly, like a leaf in a breeze.

"You're in love with me."

I began to quiver slightly, my essence finally stirring. Denial coursed through my being. I glowered at him, snarling quietly. Then, as swift as a clap of lightning, I changed into a raven and was out of the window before my snarl even reached his ears.


	2. Chapter 2

_BARTIMAEUS_

I sat, now in my favourite form, on the roof of a museum far away from Nathaniel's apartment, scowling at the moon. Night had fallen; I assessed that the boy had summoned me sometime around dusk.

I was trying to organise my thoughts. My essence was still pounding through my body after the..._encounter_ I had had with Nathaniel. His words were echoing round my head relentlessly.

_You're in love with me._

"Oh, for God's sake! You are not in love with him!" I tried convincing myself for about the hundredth time. Each time I said it, I believed it less. I had tried to come up with explanations for my actions; a new summoning herb, some ghastly spell. However, I felt a tremendous amount of doubt. Why had I reacted so strangely when he had kissed me? I hadn't consciously done it, which suggested I had _subconsciously_ wanted to do it, which meant-

I clutched at my head to stop that thought from going any further, growling at myself to stop.

I wanted to scoff to no one in particular, to laugh at Nathaniel's logic. I wanted to mutter '"Ridiculous...Me? In love with a _magician_? Please."' I wanted to yell that the kid was _clearly_ screwing with me.

But I couldn't, because then I would just be lying to myself.

"Shit..." I whispered, massaging my head with gentle fingertips.

But could I really say that I love him? Love is such a big word. It comes with many things, such as commitment, undying loyalty, chocolates and flowers, etc. Did I really love Nathaniel in that sense?

I sighed unhappily. This was slightly off-putting, the whole concept.

Another lie right there. The truth was...I was _terrified_.

Terrified of what he could do to me, what he could force me to do without even knowing it. But most of all, I was terrified of losing him.

"You're a mess," I sighed to myself. "How could you let him _do_ this to you..." I used to be feared, respected, and admired. I had done things which he couldn't even begin to fathom. Yet here I was, at his mercy, and at the mercy of my own mind, body and soul.

I came to a decision. Whatever the turnout, I had to confront him.

"Maybe this is just a one-time thing. Maybe it was just the spur of the moment..." I said, making one last attempt to avoid the inevitable. I wearily stood up and brushed myself down. Then I transformed back into a raven and launched myself into the night.

When I finally alighted on the boy's windowsill, I reverted to my preferred from of Ptolemy. Silently I slipped into the room.

Nathaniel was lying in bed on his side with his eyes closed. He was breathing evenly and deeply. The moonlight from the open window cast a dull shine on the room. His white sheets were illuminated slightly.

I stood staring at him for a moment. The sight of his sleeping face sent my essence coursing through my body again. My resolve to confront him began to waver.

I angrily shook my head and turned away, trying to force my body to calm down. _Damn that kid!_

Nathaniel stirred slightly. My eyes shot right back to him. He shifted so that his face was facing up. Still feeling a little ruffled, I sighed to myself. Did I really love him? To be honest, it was hard to tell. I was pretty confused with the whole idea of love; I didn't know if what I felt for Nathaniel was truly love, or if it was just some kind of deep relief at seeing him alive.

I blew out gently. Then a thought struck me. If I really loved him, surely I would react to another kiss the same way I reacted to the first? Spurred on by the idea of wanting to prove that my love was nonexistent, I silently padded over to his bed and gently got on to his bed, lightly crouching over him.

If I did love him, then surely I wouldn't be able to pull myself away from him at my own accord. This was the perfect time to test my love, to see if it really was real, or if it was just a spur of the moment. Nathaniel was unconscious, dead to the world. If I didn't accidentally wake him up, he wouldn't remember this, right? I just had to be careful. _Very_ careful. I didn't particularly want to explain myself to him.

Cautiously, as not to wake the sleeping magician below me, I lowered my head down. Ever so gently, I brushed my lips against his.

Just this simple touch caused my essence to pulse hard and fast within me. I quickly removed the contact between us, taking a deep breath, willing myself to calm down. I had to take this slow, I reminded myself. I had to go slowly to prevent myself from losing control.

I waited a few minutes before placing my lips against his again, this time a little firmer, but not firm enough to wake him.

Again, I experienced the pulsing sensation; however this time, I didn't remove my lips from his. A gentle pleasure came from kissing Nathaniel and I unintentionally hummed happily. I tried to focus and attempted to regain control of my body. However, the pleasure from kissing Nathaniel was slowly building, and I found myself suddenly wanting to kiss him harder, to open his mouth with mine, to breathe as one with him.

I closed my eyes, losing myself to the feelings that were enveloping me. I kissed him harder, a moan escaping my lips.

Just then, Nathaniel stirred beneath me, shifting his body. He began to turn his head sideways. I didn't remove my lips. A sound of confusion came from beneath me as Nathaniel started to wake.

"B-Bartimaeus!" Nathaniel squeaked, wriggling underneath me.

Realisation came flooding back, just like the first time we had kissed. I pulled away sharply, regarding him with shocked eyes. I silently cursed to myself as I realised that he had woken up, therefore he would demand an explanation. I had allowed myself to be caught.

As he sat up and his face approached mine, I retreated backwards until I was sitting, rather sheepishly, on my haunches on his bed. We stared at each other. He looked surprised, slightly angry; his jaw was clenched and he was breathing deeply. However, I noticed a blush creeping its way up his cheeks.

"What the hell were you doing?" Nathaniel demanded, wiping his mouth with his hand. I regarded him in what I hoped was a calm manner when in reality, I was flipping out inside my head.

"Nothing."

"Yes you were! You were kissing me!" He yelped indignantly. I shook my head.

"No, I wasn't. You must have dreamed it, kid."

"You were kissing me, demon! Don't lie!" He threw the cover off his legs and retreated slightly. "Why would you do that!? I was asleep!" I glared at him.

"I thought you 'knew what was wrong with me'?" I replied smarmily. For some reason the glow I had felt whilst kissing Nathaniel had vanished. I now felt the urgent need deny that I had done anything. Nathaniel stared at me and bared his teeth in a way that really wasn't that threatening.

"Of course I know! But it doesn't give you a good excuse to me kissing me in my sleep!" I stared at him too, my frown increasing. Who was he to judge me? The atmosphere in the room was almost unbearable; obviously our kiss earlier on in the evening had created a large amount of tension. After a long, slightly awkward silence, I spoke.

"How on _earth_ did you come to the conclusion that I'm in love with you!?" I scoffed. "You're a human, and worse, a _magician_!" He blinked in surprise at this. Then he recollected himself and gazed at me with something like pity.

"Then explain earlier on!"

"What do you mean?"

"When I kissed you."

"...What about it?"

"You kissed me back!" he protested. "Just as I started to let you go, you grabbed on to me and kissed me even harder!"

"No I–" He thumped the bed.

"You _cannot_ say that you didn't! We were both _fully awake_," he snarled angrily, obviously miffed at my earlier comment. "You grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall." I remained deathly silent, staring at him. I admit I was beginning to get anxious. What would happen if I admitted that it was true? Would he shove me away? Would he mock me? Would he dismiss me?

"Let me explain..." I faltered. I was lost for words. I had no idea what to say next. I looked down shamefully, avoiding his inquiring eyes. I heard him sigh, and looked up as he moved closer to me. I began to back away, but he reached out a hand to me.

"Don't leave. Just...stay, and listen." I shivered – whether with fear or anticipation, I had no idea. He was gazing at me, staring right into my soul. All I could do was stare back. "Bartimaeus..." That was all he said.

"I don't love you..." I said weakly. He smiled gently at me.

"I know you're lying. It's clear as daylight." I essence started to quiver slightly inside of me. I tried to brush it off my glaring daggers at him.

"No, I don't love you! How could I? You're a human; a magician!"

"Then why did you kiss me back?"

"It was the heat of the moment – it meant nothing!"

"Then why didn't you rip my head off!?"

"What do you take me for? A _psychopath_?" He clenched his fists.

"You _enjoyed_ it!" He yelled. "Anybody could have told! You made this sound–" I cut him off quickly.

"I _did not_ enjoy it!" I hissed icily. He made a sound of mock understanding.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know that freaking _growling and pushing someone up against a wall_ – while _kissing _them – was a sign of discontent!" He spat. I snarled defensively. Nathaniel's words were making me all flustered. I suddenly felt hot and bothered, and my essence was quivering within me.

"You don't know my life story! You don't _know_ me! How can you say that I _love_ you!?"

"It was _obvious_!" he reasoned. "Just admit it."

"Pfft!" I shook my head. "Fat chance!"

"Fat chance what?" he probed. "That you love me, or that you would admit it?"

"Neither! And if I did love you, what makes you think I would tell you?" Nathaniel pondered this.

"I guess you're right..."

"_Of course_ I'm bloody well right..." I mischievously quipped in before pressing my lips together stubbornly. There was no way this kid was going to make me talk. Nathaniel was looking at me expectantly. When I remained silent, he sighed, frustrated.

"So be it. If you don't want to admit it tonight, fine. But I would like to get some rest." He grabbed the sheets and pulled it over himself, facing away from me. Then he added sneakily; "Just don't molest me while I'm asleep."

I huffed angrily. Some nerve this kid had!

"You're..." I trailed off hopelessly. There was no point. Insulting him wouldn't accomplish anything. Admitting my love certainly wouldn't help. But if I lied...the boy would pick it up, and eventually he would pry the truth out of me. The best thing now would be to remain silent. Nathaniel turned over and looked at me inquiringly.

"Yes?" I looked down, staring at the sheets, not answering. If I didn't say anything, I wouldn't be lying.

"Nothing." I muttered, getting up off the bed. I grouchily walked over to the window and vaulted over the windowsill out into the street. The cool air felt great on my hot skin.

I was _not_ going to admit my love to him. It would accomplish nothing. He would just push me away.

I sighed to myself. This kid was going to be the death of me.

_NATHANIEL_

I watched Bartimaeus go from my bed. I still felt very hot all over from his kiss – had it been a kiss? Or was it just a dream? I was almost certain that it was true. I hadn't dreamt that the djinni had been hovering over me. When I had awoken, I had met his eyes. They had pierced me so strongly that I shivered as I thought about it. And the look in his eyes...it was a strange look, full of some confusing emotion I couldn't quite put my finger on; it was like a mixture of panic, bliss and doubt.

Our discussion had left me pondering one question; why did I care? I didn't love Bartimaeus...well, that is what I kept telling myself. Even I had to admit that there was something more than a typical master/servant relationship going on. And I wasn't even sure myself if he loved me; I guess I was acting on a hunch.

_Maybe it's just wishful thinking...maybe you're doing this because you want Bartimaeus to say that he loves you..._

Huffing angrily, I rolled over. What was I doing, thinking this; it was just making my torment worse.

But...why had Bartimaeus kissed me back? Should I believe what the spirit said about it being 'the heat of the moment'? If it was, then why hadn't Bartimaeus killed me afterwards? It would have saved him time and effort. Furthermore, why did Bartimaeus flee...?

All these questions were giving way to a headache. I sighed and shifted to get comfortable, muttering to myself.

Even if Bartimaeus somehow did love me and admitted it _and _wanted something more that what we had at this moment, what would it accomplish? I had a job, a position to uphold. My reputation would all be ruined if someone found out I was messing around with a demon. Furthermore, it was just wrong; it was unnatural.

Demons and humans weren't supposed to fall in love with each other, there was a reason why; it just didn't work.

"Sucks to be me, I guess." I groaned, before falling into the blissful unconsciousness that was sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Hey guys! Sorry for the delay; I had exams and a bit of a writer's block. It sucks! Some of you said that you missed Bartimaeus' sarcasm, so I will try to fix that. Apologies if he's a bit out of character. It was actually really fun to make him mischievous! xx_

_BARTIMAEUS_

Two things had changed since I had been pulled back to the Other Place after the Crystal Palace incident.

First of all, I now understood all those damned emotions, thoughts and feelings I had experienced after Nathaniel had dismissed me, kicking and screaming, to the Other Place. They were now so _clear_, so _obvious_ to me that I felt a fool for not understanding them before. There were no other explanations. I was deeply in love with Nathaniel.

Secondly, those feelings had practically doubled. I now felt more relieved, happier, angrier, more _everything_! It was like someone had amplified my ability to feel emotions. They now almost completely controlled my words, my actions, my thoughts. It was quite scary, really.

I was sitting awkwardly on a long, thick branch in a tree in a nearby park thinking, pondering, mulling over it all. I really needed that; a long time to think. It gave me a break. It helped me understand things, helped me to answer my questions. Most of all, it helped me to calm down, since I had been anything _but_ calm the past day or so. My essence was sore from being constantly stimulated in so many different ways. If I'd had a heart, I would have probably suffered a heart attack by now.

Dawn was steadily approaching. A golden glow was cast over the London. Birds were chirruping happily in the nearby trees. I didn't feel their glee. I was angry at myself for running away. _Again_. No wonder the kid suspected so much; I was acting like a girl in middle school running away, blushing like crazy, from her crush. Except this was worse. Nathaniel was not my crush; he was my love.

I angrily kicked out at the branch opposite. This wasn't fair. I had never – not _once_ – in my entire existence heard of a djinni falling for a human (there was the occasional human that fell for a djinni – honestly, who could blame them – but never the opposite). The phrase 'there's a first time for everything' came to mind. Why did I have to be the 'first time' for a djinni to love a human? Why me? What had I done to deserve this? Why couldn't I have regular spirit problems?

There was one big question that I hadn't answered yet. I'd been so caught up with sorting out my own feelings that I hadn't stopped to consider Nathaniel's. Why did he care if I loved him or not? He surely didn't...love me?

I hissed disapprovingly at the hope that had emerged at that last thought. Of course Nathaniel didn't love me. He was just trying to find out whether or not it was safe for him and his job to keep me around. That's all he cared about.

What really got me is how I was reacting to this whole affair. I certainly wasn't acting how I should have been; like a mature, wise djinni. No, I was acting in denial. The way I had succumbed to my feelings by kissing him really _wasn't_ what I should be doing, even if I wanted to. What I should be doing is trying to return to the Other Place, ignoring my feelings and ignoring Nathaniel.

This whole emotion – love – really was new to me. I had never experienced love like this before; I had loved Ptolemy like one would love a friend, a family member. I had never felt such feelings towards Ptolemy, the only human in my existence who had ever treated me with respect and friendship. I certainly never had felt this kind of love for anyone...until now.

It wasn't as if I was unfamiliar with the actual act of intercourse – I have had my share or rather promiscuous masters who abused the power of enslaving spirits. In fact, I had _plenty_ of experience in that area; I would consider myself an expert. However, _making love_ was different; I was inexperienced with the intimacy, the vulnerability, the trust. I didn't know if my essence could handle so much at once. Spirits are able to feel physical pleasure just as much as humans; however, the type of pleasure spirits respond most to is emotional pleasure.

"Stop it!" I growled angrily, clenching the branch I was sitting on. "What are you doing!?" This _definitely_ wasn't what I ought to be thinking about right now since I was, at this moment, continuously thinking about Nathaniel, so pondering whether or not I am capable of making love certainly wasn't going to help me. At all. It would only make my inner turmoil worse. _Much_ worse. Those kinds of thoughts, undoubtedly, would lead on to other not so pure thoughts. "It would _never_ happen anyway," I told myself bitterly. "So stop wishing."

However, the subject got me thinking. If Nathaniel, by some miraculous chance did love me, and wanted something more, would I comply? I seriously needed to get all my thoughts and feelings sorted, so why not ask the inevitable questions now?

Did I love Nathaniel? "Yes." I muttered. Did I want something more? "...Yes."

The air was getting warmer as the sun rose. I guessed it must be around six in the morning. It was still too early to see any citizens out and about. The boy wouldn't need me until a couple of hours...I hoped. I wasn't ready to face him again. I had probably given too much away already. But I couldn't stay here all day. With the feeling of accumulating dread, I dropped down from the tree, landing on the soft grass below. Swiftly turning into a - beautiful, I must say - robin, I took flight, slowly making my way to the boy's apartment, taking my time on purpose. When I landed quietly on his window, I took a moment to gather myself before fluttering in and changing into Ptolemy. Shutting the window behind me, I turned around. It wasn't early enough for the sun to be a bright light; it cast a gentle glow on the room.

The first thing I noticed was that Nathaniel wasn't in his bed; it was neatly made. I heard the shower running in the bathroom which joined his room. Singing was coming from the bathroom; in all truth, it sounded more like it was coming from a diseased horse than a human. I resisted the urge to march right up to the door and smash my fist through it to make him shut up. Instead I settled myself in the big puffy armchair in the corner of the room, watching the bathroom door, waiting for Nathaniel to come walking out.

I told myself to act completely normal; cracking jokes, being sarcastic etc. I had to do my best to convince him that I did not love him. He _must not know_; the last thing I needed right now was to know that I loved him. I was to act like I would normally do in other circumstances, being sarcastic and a bit of a prick.

Hopefully I would also be able to make myself forget my feelings for him.

When Nathaniel finally did emerge with a bathrobe on, he jumped when he saw me.

"Bartimaeus!" he squeaked, desperately pulling the robe tighter around himself. "What are you doing here?" He demanded, scowling at me. I don't like to admit it, but the sight of him in a bathrobe made me feel odd. Not odd in a bad way. No, odd in a...strangely _good_ way. I pushed down the feeling, trying to ignore it. Instead, I winked at him, smirking mischeviously.

"Did it slip your pretty little mind that you didn't actually dismiss me?" He frowned at me.

"No, of course not." He said, shaking his head. "What I meant was what are you doing waiting for me?" Not really wanting to answer that question – as I'm sure he wouldn't like the answer – I yawned loudly and rolled onto my back, looking at him upside down.

"You look _so_ much better upside down, you know? Your hair looks far less _abnormal_ this way." He grimaced at this, subconsciously running his hands through his hair.

"Don't be so _immature!_" He snapped, stamping his foot angrily. Then he scurried across the room to his drawers, grabbing a handful of clothes.

"Don't worry; I won't look!" I said as if I was talking to a little kid. But I continued to watch him, a smile playing at my lips. This was fun!

"No way! I am not getting changed with _you_ in the room," he growled, giving me a hateful stare.

As I watched him from my upside down position on the armchair, an idea came to me. I guess that _somehow_ this plan made perfect sense in my head; it wasn't the best of my ideas, but still pretty darn good. Its purpose was to once and for all convince Nathaniel that I didn't love him. It didn't quite fit in the 'not strange' category. It wasn't exactly what you would call... _acceptable_...

I was going to attempt to scare him by acting in a way which he would find repulsive; basically, I was going to make him _extremely_ uncomfortable by making sexual comments and acting in a slightly..._demonic_ way – if you catch my drift. Then after repulsing him, I would point at his face and laugh, saying how it was all a joke. I wasn't sure how, but I hoped it would cause him to get off my back once and for all. Now, it would probably be hard for me to say things like that to him without exerting a lot of self control to keep me from going _too_ far. No, going too far would just have the opposite effect.

Nathaniel turned and as if to make his way the bathroom...but then he stopped. He turned his face towards me. His blue eyes met mine, and I gazed into his soul, not wanting to tear my gaze away. He looked calculating, cautious. I couldn't help it; the smile on my face was growing with every passing moment.

"Pity."

_NATHANIEL_

In all honesty, I wasn't in the best of moods this morning. I had woken early, tired and slightly confused about last night's events. I don't know why the spirit had tried to hide the fact that it had kissed me. Nevertheless, I had had _enough_ of these mind games. I was no longer going to try to get it to tell me what it felt, to tell me if it loved me or not. I wasn't even sure myself now. Of course, I was still in love with Bartimaeus – even though I wished it was not the case – but I wasn't going to it that. In fact, I was going to act like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Despite the pang I felt in my heart, I told myself that that was what this whole thing probably was to the djinni; nothing at all. It was just playing with me.

However, the memories were soon dismissed from my consciousness when I stubbed my toe on the foot of my bed. Next, the shower had been extremely cold. And if that wasn't enough, I had been scared out of my wits by the very being I wanted to avoid. Bartimaeus.

It was acting strangely...but could I really say that? It was acting normal compared to before the Crystal Palace incident, yet it was acting strangely compared to how it had been acting ever since it had been resummoned; cracking jokes, generally being obnoxious – yet its actions seemed oddly forced, strained. _False_. They seemed unnatural when a year ago it would have been odd for the djinni not to be acting the way it was. Anyway, despite my obvious annoyance, it insisted on getting on my nerves.

Ignoring the demon, I crossed the room quickly, collecting my clothes for the day. I wasn't in the mood to play along.

"Don't worry; I won't look!" I heard the smile in its voice. I peeked at the entity out of the corner of my eyes. It was still surveying me from upside down; a small smile was on its face, but an odd emotion was shining in its eyes. What was with the spirit? The copper gaze sent shivers down my spine – as it often did. Trying to ignore them, I growled.

"No way! I am not getting changed with _you_ in the room," I gathered all my clothes up in a bundle, preparing to dash back to the bathroom. However, something made me stop. Bartimaeus had not replied as I had been expecting. I sneaked a peak. The look on its face was honestly terrifying. On the surface, it looked like a mischievous stare. But I knew Bartimaeus well; behind the mask, an unrestricted desperation glowed. Then, a smile slowly crept its way across the demon's face which made my heart skip a beat with fear.

"Pity."

The demon's playful actions suddenly seemed intimidating. Ever so slowly, almost like a predator, it rolled over onto its stomach, those copper eyes never leaving mine. Then it stood from the sofa.

I dashed. I just about made it to the bathroom door before Bartimaeus reached the handle. I quickly locked the door, panicking. I knew that Bartimaeus could easily break down the door, locked or not. My heart was pumping fast, my breath coming in short, fast puffs. I backed away from the door, my clothes still bundled in my arms. _What_ had gotten into the djinni?

A long pause. Then, after the door hadn't been bashed down as I had expected, I let out a long breath. Then, before anything else happened, I quickly changed into my clothes. When I had finished, I took my time washing my face and getting ready for the day. I wasn't particularly looking forward to going back into the bedroom – I didn't want to find out what Bartimaeus had had in mind. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, trying to calm my frenzy of a heartbeat. I met a pale complexion, framed by a slightly red flush on the cheeks. Dark, tired eyes gazed back. I continued to breath deep and slow, preparing myself for going back out there. When I felt as if I was ready, I unlocked the bathroom door as quietly as I could and cautiously poked my head around it.

There was no sign of Bartimaeus. Fortunately. I inspected the room. There weren't any suspicious pieces of furniture or new ornaments in the room. Even so, I still kept my guard up. The spirit could be _anywhere_. I stepped out and shut the bathroom door behind me, my eyes never leaving the room. Then, I stealthily made my way across the room to my briefcase, snatching it up quickly and holding it to my chest as if it was some sort of armour.

Just then, I felt a short, warm, gentle blast of air on the back of my neck. Did I also here a quiet chuckle? I spun around, neck hair standing on end, scrutinising the room fiercely. The window was open, a gently breeze ruffling the curtains. Was I just imagining things now? Furrowing my brows, I looked around. Still no sign of that blasted spirit.

I took a cautious step forward, still observing my surroundings. I was expecting Bartimaeus to come leaping out at me from under the bed or from behind the chairs, hoping to scare me. But it didn't. And that was making me feel uneasy. I continued my way to the door.

Just then, I heard my closet door _creeeaaak_ open. I turned instantly, glaring at the door. It gently swung open. Putting down my briefcase, I walked over to the door. I looked inside the closet to see if anything in there had been pushing on the closet door, causing it to open. Nothing. I was about to close the door when I felt warm the hairs on the back of my neck standing even more straight. A tingling sensation made its way down my body. I twisted around. Then I backed up against the closet, letting out a small gasp of shock.

Bartimaeus was standing in front of me. Close in front of me. _Too_ close. _Far too close_.

It was staring right into my eyes, its forehead only millimetres from mine. I felt like it was reading my mind. I remained tense, frozen at the proximity of the spirit. I could smell the scent of dust, of old books coming from the demon. I also got a faint whiff of spices. The proximity was making my heart beat rise.

The spirit gazed at me, copper eyes searching my face, a smile tugging at the ends of its mouth. I gazed back, too shocked to move. Then Bartimaeus' mischievous smile grew a fraction, and I caught sight of white teeth.

Bartimaeus stepped in closer. I leaned back, pressing myself harder against the closet. My breath was coming out faster and shallower. I couldn't ignore how close the demon was. There were only a couple of inches between us now. Any further and we would be pressed up against each other. It was getting harder to breathe. Bartimaeus leaned further forward until our chests were gently touching. And he stayed there, still surveying me. I felt my breath hitch in my throat. I felt slightly faint, my heart hammering against my chest, its rate getting faster and faster with each passing minute.

Bartimaeus slowly moved hand to touch my arm, its eyes still locked with mine. I felt a blush forming on my cheeks as the hand caressed my lower arm. Embarrassed, I screwed my eyes shut and turned my face away from Bartimaeus', trying to stop my body from reacting the way it was. I felt my chest vibrate as the djinni let out a low chuckle.

"Embarrassed, are we?" It purred quietly, continuing to trace patterns on my arm through my shirt. The suggestive tone in its voice caused me to shiver. I felt the djinni press against me a fraction harder. The blush in my cheeks darkened as I let out a tiny gasp.

"N-no..." I mouthed soundlessly, more a desperate plea than an answer. It was, of course, a complete lie. I knew it all too well. And so did Bartimaeus. The feeling of Bartimaeus' form against me was causing my body to react extremely strangely. I knew why, of course. But the djinni had no idea what its touch was doing to me.

"No?" It breathed in my ear, its breath cool and gentle. My heart jumped as the djinni's hand made its way to my shoulders, gently scratching nails across my collar bone. "You don't look too comfortable. Maybe if I–" It dragged its hand unhurriedly down my chest. "–do _this_." Bartimaeus whispered seductively. I visibly trembled as the hand, little by little, got lower. And lower. Lower it went, past my stomach, past my belt, nearer to my–

"STOP!" I gasped, my eyes snapping open. I grabbed the demon's hand and forced it away from my body, panting hard. I felt tears in my eyes and I stared, breathing heavily, at Bartimaeus. It looked a little shocked, but recovered quickly.

"What's wrong, Natty boy?" It teased. "Afraid of a little bit of fun?" I blinked, still extremely flustered. My brain wasn't functioning properly. I managed to form a coherent sentence in my head.

"W-what w-were..." I trailed off. Bartimaeus was closing the distance between us again.

"Lost for words, Nat?" It smirked. "Cat got–" The djinni licked its lips tantalizingly. "–your _tongue_?"

That last gesture proved too much. The sight of Bartimaeus licking its lips set my head spinning. I had to get out of here. Flustered beyond control, I shoved my way past Bartimaeus and made a run for the door. The spirit made no move to stop me. It remained where it was, watching me go.

Mind, body and soul in disarray, I ran out of my apartment. Panting hard, heart beating wildly and sweating slightly, I made my way down the flight of stairs, not looking back once.

_BARTIMAEUS_

I watched the teary eyed boy hurry off, flustered and confused. I was a little uneasy too. My essence was racing through my body, quaking. Nathaniel just didn't know because djinn can't blush. Or cry. Or sweat.

He hadn't reacted in the way I had expected; I thought he was going to get angry instead of embarrassed, try to punch me instead of squeezing his eyes shut. Why? I had felt his heart when our chests had been touching. I could also hear it. It had been beating _so_ fast...

Had I gone too far? I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I probably did.

And I could tell I was going to regret it greatly when the boy came home...if he ever did.

_What did you guys think? Please leave a review, it would really help me! Next chapter up soon! xx_


	4. Chapter 4

_Okay guys, this was seriously hard to write! I tried to take your advice/requests into consideration, but some of you might be a bit disappointed... I had to go with what felt right. Hopefully you guys approve! :D_

_I'M SORRY FOR TAKING AGES! *throws herself down at your feet* I just wanted to get it as perfect as possible...please forgive me! Xxxx_

_BARTIMAEUS_

If 1000 years ago, someone had told me that I would be at the mercy of a magician – not the bonds he set on me, but of what he could make me feel – I would have snorted with derision and sent a Detonation in the face of that unfortunate soul, mentally scolding them for their stupidity.

Yet, here I was, incessantly fretting over Nathaniel so much that I was scaring myself (and that takes a lot, trust me). I had spent most of the time pacing back and forth ceaselessly, muttering, thinking, growling, yelling. Clenching and unclenching my fists. My exceptional mind was completely occupied with thoughts – where he was, what he was doing, if he was okay, if he would come home – and I was beginning to get a headache. I was as tense as a spring, constantly alert, waiting to hear the rumble of a car outside or footsteps on the stairs outside the door.

Nathaniel's room was dark save for the moonlight pooling in from the open curtains, bathing the room in an eerie glow. I glanced up at the clock. It read one in the morning. I had been eagerly waiting his return for eighteen hours. Eighteen hours! Not that I had been counting. A mighty being like me would _never_ stoop that low. But seriously, where was he? Had something happened to him? Or was he just too embarrassed to face me again?

"Where the _hell_ are you?" I growled into the silence, frustrated, and then mentally kicking myself at how panicky I was getting. I really shouldn't be worrying about him because, firstly, I shouldn't. I'm a djinni; I should be hoping he gets himself killed. Secondly, he had abused me for years. I should hate him. And thirdly...he probably had a whole bunch of escorts. He didn't need me. He never would...

Yet, he was still only 17, not yet 18. Anything could happen to him. I fidgeted anxiously at this thought, continuing my pacing with renewed concern. Furthermore, in the state I left him this morning (well, yesterday morning) he probably didn't have all his wits about him.

My essence pounded through my form as thought about what had happened. Had I gone too far with my forced sarcasm and mischief? Had I pushed his body too far? He certainly had looked extremely distressed. And I was able to feel his racing heart, hear his ragged breathing.

My eyes flickered towards the closet. And when I had dragged myhand down his body, he had been trembling so much, especially when my hand had–

I blanched at the memory, my essence shaking. No wonder he had reacted like that. "I really did go _too _far..." I blew out slowly, scolding myself in my head.

Suddenly, I heard the door on the ground floor of the apartment blocks swing slowly open. My essence jumped, and started racing. I swivelled to face the door, a relieved smile on my face. He was here! The footsteps came up the stairs. I held my breath even though I didn't need to. The footsteps approached the door. I waited anxiously, expecting it to open.

But it didn't. The footsteps carried on past the door and went to the left. After a few moments, I heard a door a couple of rooms down the corridor open and close.

My hope came crashing down upon me. I collapsed into an armchair, overwhelmed by grief. My essence was trembling with my devastation. I sunk deep into the soft material, squeezing my eyes shut. I shouldn't have been so hopeful. Sighing shakily, I pinched the bridge of my nose. _Damn that kid_...

I _hated _this. The fact that I was at his mercy.

My eyes shot open at the sound of a car parking in the street. Then, like the last time, footsteps on the stairs. I jumped up from the armchair, staring at the door. As the footsteps approached, I willed myself to calm down, to not get my hopes up. The footsteps arrived at the door.

I waited, fists clenched, eyes alert.

Keys in the door. My essence jolted and began to race through my form, pulsing, vibrating. I couldn't help it; I smiled. And it was genuine. The door opened slowly. The light flickered on as a switch was flicked. As soon as Nathaniel caught sight of me, he tensed up. He shut the door behind him without turning.

Despite the fact that I was overly relieved to see him, I was pissed off at his late arrival home; he had kept me waiting far too long. My eyes travelled over him whilst I attempted to reign in my anger. He looked exhausted, unharmed, yet...

He wasn't looking at me; his eyes were fixed on a spot on the floor a few inches from my bare feet, too embarrassed to meet my eyes. I plastered a big smirk on my face, but I ached in the tense silence.

_NATHANIEL_

I _couldn't_ look Bartimaeus in the eye. I just couldn't. I don't know what would happen to me if I did. I was still a mess from this morning; its roaming hands and teasing words had left my pride in shatters. I had hoped that I wouldn't run into the djinni when I returned home so I would have time to gather myself, to regain whatever dignity and self-control I had left, so I could deal with the demon with a reasonably clear head. But that wasn't to be the case. It was here.

Bartimaeus had no idea what it did to me. And I hated it. I sourly wanted to be in control what I was feeling; previously I had thought that I was, but this morning's events only proved that I wasn't.

The djinni was staring at me; I quaked internally under its gaze. I was scared – terrified. All because of what Bartimaeus had made me feel this morning. I never wanted to feel that humiliation again. And what made it worse was that the djinni hadn't been ruffled at all. Different emotions were battling inside me, causing my heart to flutter and my insides to squirm. I was angry at the spirit, confused, upset; but most of all, I was ashamed. _So _ashamed. In front of me, I saw the djinni take a single step towards me.

"Good _morning_," it said, a bite of sarcasm entering its voice. I flinched involuntarily. "Nice of you to drop by." Bartimaeus kept a distance of a few metres between us, yet it was enough to make my cheeks burn as the embarrassing memories flashed before my eyes. _Don't come any closer..._ I silently begged the djinni. _Please..._

"What kept you, Natty Boy?" Bartimaeus spoke again, calmly, still surveying me closely. "Did you enjoy your nice _long_ stroll in the moonlight? Perhaps you decided to stop off somewhere on the way home?" I remained tense, my jaw locked. I didn't trust my voice; I was afraid that if I spoke, I would break down, shout, scream or sob. I just wished the djinni would stop asking me questions; couldn't it that I was suffering?

"You _are_ allowed to look at me, you know?" The djinni said cockily. "I _probably_ won't bite your head off." Still I did not look up. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the smirk the djinni had been wearing leave its face.

"Hey." Bartimaeus said firmly, waving a hand, trying to catch my attention. When I showed no sign of acknowledgement, it started to approach me again. "Hey!" It said louder and with much more force. I shied away from the demon, squeezing my eyes shut, moving back a few inches as it closed the distance between us. I felt my insides wriggle faster as I listened to its approach. _No closer..._ I heard the demon stop a couple of feet away. My eyes remained tightly closed, my heart quivering.

Silence. Nobody moved. My spine was tingling from Bartimaeus staring at me. Silently I pleaded, but for what, I didn't know. I didn't know whether I wanted to punch the demon, kiss it, flee from it or drop to my knees and beg. The tension in the room was becoming almost unendurable. Then–

"_Look at me_, God damn it!" Bartimaeus suddenly yelled, the temperature in the room falling drastically. I recoiled against the wall, my eyes snapping open in surprise. Its voice was so full of anger and barely concealed desperateness that my fluttering heart ached.

The demon stood in front of me, fists balled, teeth clenched. I let slip a gasp. The djinni locked eyes with me; copper eyes pierced my mind; thin, black pupils glared at me. I was shaking with fear and the sudden temperature drop in the room. I heard the light bulbs slowly icing over.

My heart was racing with anticipation. I was expecting the spirit to come closer, to grab me, to do _something_. However, it remained a few feet away, glowering at me. It ushered a quiet yet furious snarl - for some reason, the fact that the djinni didn't do anything except stand there and watch me was so much worse. It was getting almost unbearable to stay in the room. I felt my hands curl and clench against the freezing wooden walls.

"D-Don't." I said shakily into the tense atmosphere, my frozen mouth finally moving. Bartimaeus stopped snarling at this, some of the burning fire leaving its eyes. I swallowed painfully, my lips dry. "Don't shout." Bartimaeus' mouth opened a fraction, its clenched fists relaxing. Its eyes gazed at me, unblinking. I stared right back. I was certain my eyes were betraying all my raging emotions.

The djinni stood there, frozen with shock. Then, Bartimaeus began to slowly move towards me, gradually closing the distance between us. _No! Stop! _I panicked in my head. The demon reached out a hand.

Fear caused electricity to course through my muscles with a jolt, shocking me out of my frozen state. Avoiding Bartimaeus' stretched out arm, I moved to the left towards the bed. When I turned, I saw that the djinni hadn't moved to close anymore distance between us. It was as if its angry fire had disappeared. Bartimaeus was looking at me, copper eyes bright with emotion.

It called me softly, sympathy oozing from way it murmured my name.

"Nathaniel..."

It was as if someone had turned a furnace inside of me. Fury mingled with shame, grief and confusion began to flicker and catch, spreading steadily. This wasn't supposed to be happening. I should be laying into the djinni with merciless words, letting it know what I thought about its prying actions, letting it experience the sheer strength of my previously contained emotions. My previous resolve to sort out Bartimaeus calmly and professionally snapped. The way the demon had spoken my name had emphasised just how _unprofessional_ our situation was.

That's when I felt the heat within me. The chill in the room couldn't stop it. All the anger at myself and my infuriating situation I had contained within my quaking body. I felt it explode.

"What the _hell_, Bartimaeus!?" I yelled heatedly at the demon, stamping my foot. Bartimaeus didn't flinch, but stood there, frozen, looking extremely taken aback at my sudden outburst. Fuming, I took a step forward, glaring daggers at the spirit. All my fear of what could happen if I provoked Bartimaeus too much had left me. I let my anger wash over me and fuel my words. "You..I..." I was struggling to express just exactly what I was feeling. Nevertheless, I continued, not wanting to make myself look weak. "You _demon_!" I finally spat out.

I saw hurt flash across Bartimaeus' eyes before they steeled over. "Watch it, Natty Boy..." It said it casually enough, yet the warning that flashed across its eyes gave away the spirits underlying irritation. But I didn't care.

"What on _earth_ did you think you were playing at? Why did you do those things to me? What made you think it acceptable to...to...to _touch_ me like that!?" I gulped down angry tears at the memories of this morning, my hands balling into fists. I really wanted the djinni to understand that I had not found what it did amusing. At all. "Did you think it was funny? A cruel joke? An experiment?"

"W-well," the shocked spirit began, its eyes darting to the side briefly. "I wouldn't quite call it an experi–"

"You _enjoyed_ it!" I cut him off, disgusted. "Its sick!"

"Oi!" Indignation quickly washed over Bartimaeus' face. "Hang on a minute–" It growled at me through gritted teeth.

"No!" I yelled, cutting the djinni off. I was burning for answers, yet also too angry to give the demon a chance. Then I screamed a word at Bartimaeus, but then instantly regretted it. My heart skipped a beat with fear at the demon's expression – its eyes widened with cold fury.

"Pervert!"

Suddenly, the distance between us didn't seem enough.

_BARTIMAEUS_

My essence went cold.

To say I was a little pissed off would be greatly underestimating my anger. I was outraged. My self control was sent flying out the window. Nathaniel's words had cut deep into me, hitting a sensitive nerve.

"What did you call me?" I hissed icily. Fear flashed briefly across Nathaniel's eyes. The boy was shaking – with fear or cold, I didn't know – but he was gazing at me with fury that matched my own. His clenched hands started shaking slightly as his frown deepened.

"You heard me!" He said confidently. "You're a pervert! You touched me like a pervert would; you spoke to me like one!"

"I was being a pervert, was I? Oh, you would just _love_ that, wouldn't you!?" I snarled, taking a step forward so that only a foot or two separated us. Nathaniel tensed up even more, but held his ground. "Trust me; if I had been trying, you would have done a bit more than blush." The boy's cheeks went red a little at this.

"Th-that doesn't change anything!" He stammered.

"Oh, I beg to differ..." I whispered, my voice low and seductive. The boy squirmed uncomfortably. I smirked at him. Even though my anger was still bubbling beneath my skin, teasing him seemed to calm it down a bit. It was just so much fun.

"Stop it!" He growled, straightening up, trying to match my height. "Act like a _bloody adult_ for once!" The light bulb exploded with the further five or so degrees the temperature in the room suddenly fell. It plunged us into near darkness. The moonlight which poured in through the open curtains illuminated the room.

"Me?" I forced a laugh, my sarcasm being overridden by my bitterness. "I'm not the one running about in the dark like an idiot, waiting till _one in the morning_ to get home!"

"What I do in my life is none of your business!" Nathaniel said defensively. "Why do you care?"

"Why do I care?" I growled furiously. "_Why do I care_? Well, _excuse me_ if I don't want to go and save your helpless ass because you were too embarrassed to come back and face me!"

The boy fell silent. Nathaniel's already flushed face went a deeper shade of red, his eyes widening. He diverted his eyes to the floor. I could tell that I had struck him where it hurt.

"Shut up!" He muttered indignantly. "I couldn't help being embarrassed! Especially when you were touching me like that!" His eyes returned to mine, a furious fire dancing in his blue irises. "And for heaven's sake, _why did you do it_?"

The tone of his voice had a chilling effect on me; it was full of confusion and sadness. I stared at him. As my anger began to dissipate, I grew impatient. I had had enough of this – of this arguing, this anger, the flying accusations.

"Stop asking me that, Natty Boy." I sighed impatiently, turning away from him. I didn't want to explain myself – that wouldn't have gone down well for him. "Or I would be forced to do something you _really_ wouldn't want..."

I didn't bother to tell him that that 'something' was exactly the same thing that had happened yesterday morning. Only much worse.

"Tell me." Nathaniel challenged. I turned around and glared at him. "Why are you avoiding the question?" The kid was obviously too angry to care about the punishment.

"Are you deaf?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that hair of yours."

"Tell me!" He said again. "I want to know why you did it!"

...Well, I can't break my promises, now, can I?

_NATHANIEL_

Bartimaeus paused, looking at me strangely. Was this it? Was it going to tell me why it did what it did? I couldn't help but get a little hopeful of the answer. Then, it turned to face me, smiling evilly. And that was when I realised just exactly what this 'something' was. My insides turned to water.

"No..." I stammered urgently, taking a step back. The djinni started to close the distance between us. "No. Bartimaeus!" I said firmly, yet it didn't have half as much force as I had wanted it to. It came out as a quivering mewl. Bartimaeus crept forwards until it was only a few inches from me. I was backing up, tense as a spring when I felt the edge of the bed against my legs. The djinni's copper eyes looked me up and down.

"I thought I told you not to ask me that again?" It purred, its mouth curling mischievously at the ends. I stared back, terrified. "Did you not understand?" My face drained of blood.

"No! Bartimaeus, stop it!" I growled feebly. "Don't do this again!" The djinni smirked. Desperately, I placed my hands on the demon's chest and attempted to push it away. Instead of creating distance between us as I had wanted to, Bartimaeus grabbed both my hands with terrifying speed and pulled me towards him so that our noses touched lightly. I struggled helplessly in the iron grip. The djinni chuckled, and I shivered.

"Woah, Nat. You're hearts beating like crazy!" Bartimaeus said, faking fascination. "Are you uncomfortable?" I growled in response. "Do you mind if I just...?" It asked, its eyes glinting as it gazed into mine. Before I could understand the meaning behind the question, Bartimaeus placed a hand on my chest and shoved me backwards. I tumbled onto the bed, falling sprawled out. Shocked, I sat up immediately and glared at the djinni. Its face was cast in shadow, yet I caught the smirk. I reached out my hand to the side and switched the bedside lamp on so I could see Bartimaeus.

That was when the demon leaped at me. It pushed me onto my back. We bounced slightly as I hit the mattress, me underneath, the demon on top.

"Now, this is much better, isn't it?" It said, eyes looking me up and down. I moved a hand to shove the djinni off, but Bartimaeus grabbed it by the wrist and pinned it above my head. In a last attempt of escape, I pushed up with my legs, hoping to dislodge the djinni from my hips. "Na-ah, Natty Boy. Escaping is against the rules." The djinni sniggered, then it grinded its whole body weight down unto my hips. I bit my lips, trying to stop the sound that was coming out of my mouth at the pressure on the area between my hips. I half gasped, half moaned.

"That felt good, 'ey, Nat?" The djinni chuckled at the bright red blush that was beginning to form on my cheeks. "Want me to do it again?"

"Get off!" I yelped desperately, wriggling underneath the demon. "Please, don't do this to me!" The demon frowned, yet I knew it was just acting.

"Why not, Nat? You called me a pervert," the djinni pointed out, an evil smile making its way onto its lips. "I'm just showing you that what I was doing was so much _less_ than a pervert..." Bartimaeus put its free hand on my chest and began to trail its way down to my stomach. I tried twisting my torso away from the demon, but its weight stopped me.

"Stop!" I yelled, feeling tears spring to my eyes as my heart raced. "Please, stop it!" The hand continued its way down. Just before it reached my belt, I cried out. "_Bartimaeus_!"

The hand paused at the belt. I was breathing raggedly, panting. My frenzy of a heartbeat pounded in my ears. Bartimaeus studied me, the smirk still on its face. "Really, Nat, you get worked up way too easily."

I hated that the djinni was taking this as a joke; my heart was aching because I knew that its actions meant nothing to it. "This isn't a joke!" I cried, tears blurring my vision. "Stop it, demon!" I used my free hand to grab Bartimaeus' hand and pull it off my stomach. With unmatchable strength the djinni grabbed my hand and pinned it with my other hand above my head. They remained pinned there with only one of the spirits hands.

"You know I hate that word." Bartimaeus purred in a low tone. "I won't tolerate you using it." The djinni's hands moved to my stomach again. I clamped my eyes shut.

"No..." I pleaded softy. Even though I didn't want this to happen, my body was craving Bartimaeus' touch: I couldn't help the heat that was rising under his hand. "Please, _stop_!" Ashamed at my own weakness, I clamped my eyes shut and turned my head to the side so that the djinni couldn't see my blush darkening as the hand made its way down my body.

The hand paused, again, just above the belt. After a few tense moments, I felt it leave my lower stomach. Then, a strong hand gripped my chin firmly, but gently, and turned it upwards. My eyes remained tightly closed; I didn't want to see the expression of mockery the spirit probably had on its face.

"Now, now..." I felt the djinni's breath on my face. "Stop being a baby and open your eyes." I refused, shaking my head. I heard an exasperated sigh. "Alright, then. I guess I'll just have to make you..." My eyes snapped open at the implication of the words. I would do anything that would halt the demon's predatory advances. The djinni was grinning mischievously, its eyes glinting dangerously. "Ah, that's better." The djinni crooned, sliding its hand off my jaw and down onto my chest. "Seeing your expressions really makes this _much_ more entertaining..."

My tummy gave a lurch when I realised that the hand wasn't going to stop at the belt this time. "Stop this!" I yelped, feeling a few tears trickling down my burning cheeks as Bartimaeus slowly rubbed its hands down my chest.

"I don't think I will." The djinni murmured. Its copper eyes were watching my face the whole time. I was beginning to feel sick. Desperately, I wriggled underneath the demon, panicking.

"S-Stop it!" I howled. "It isn't fair on me that you're doing this!" The djinni raised an eyebrow, studying me closely.

"Oh, and why is that, exactly?" Its hand never slowed; it was now at my belt. Tears were now coursing down my cheeks.

Desperately, I yelled. "It's not fair because _I love you_!"

_BARTIMAEUS_

Now it was my turn to fall silent.

_Shit._

That was the only word that was going through my head.

"Eh?" I said, dumbstruck. All my playfulness began to seep out of me. I stared at Nathaniel with my mouth hanging open like an idiot. Nathaniel looked just as shocked; his eyes were wide – and avoiding me – and he was biting his lip. He was blushing brightly. "W-What was that?" Nathaniel squeezed his eyes shut, too embarrassed to respond. "You just...said..."

"I...I said that I...I l-love you..." He whispered. I blanched.

"Sorry, once more. I don't think I heard you correctly...?" His eyes snapped open, his eyes blazing.

"I said I love you, alright!?" He spat. I only gaped in response. He turned his eyes on me, glaring at me.

"You...love...?"

"Go ahead." He muttered, tears forming in his eyes. "Laugh. Mock me." I open and closed my mouth like a fish, trying to find words.

"...This is _not_ good." That was all I could manage. "Shit..." Suddenly aware of our positions, I took my hands off him and fell backwards, off of his lower body. Yet there was no way I was letting him escape now; not after _this_. Nathaniel brought his hands down to his sides, where he stayed silent. I continued to freak out.

Whilst normally, any other person in my position would have been ecstatic, I knew how bad this news was. I know I should have been happy – heck, I should be over the moon! However, this just _wasn't right_. Humans and djinni...they just don't work! It was wrong! And now that this idiot had gone and declared that he loved me, it meant that...what I had wanted all this time, I could have. And what I wanted was _wrong_, was _unnatural_! But now I could have it.

Damn Nathaniel. Damn him to hell. Thanks to him, it would now be so much harder to restrain myself knowing that what he wanted was exactly the same as what I wanted. I had to restrain myself! It would do me no good at all for me to go ahead with this. It would just make everything so..._complicated_. Mustering up my courage – I had very little at this point – I looked at Nathaniel.

"Oh, crap, okay...then..." I panicked, mainly to myself. "Listen–" But before I could get another word out, Nathaniel had sat up and reached out a hand to touch my face.

I tensed. My essence pounded. It felt as if I had frozen inside. Nathaniel slowly placed his hand on my cheek, his eyes never leaving mine. His hand was shaking slightly, yet he never faulted. I remained frozen. He shifted closer to me until our knees were touching. He brought his face closer to mine. All I could do was watch his every move, entranced, afraid. His eyes watched mine for a reaction, a refusal. When none was offered, he leant forward.

Then he kissed me. Tentatively, slowly, uncertainly. Yet the passion behind it was obvious. I felt it down to my core. I felt his burning love, his desire. I could feel it in his lips. "N-Nathaniel..." I stammered against his lips. "T-This...it isn't..." Yet he didn't pull away. Neither did I.

Instead, I responded.

I leapt at him, throwing him back on to the bed. Everything came flooding forward; all the emotions, all the stress, all the love. I had to let it out. All reluctance left me. Nathaniel was obviously shocked by my sudden and forceful movement, and when my lips crashed into his again, he gasped. I took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Pressing him down into the pillow, I slipped my tongue into his mouth.

_Damn.._.I shouldn't be doing this. I knew it. I had told myself that it would never come to this. Yet the way I was acting only told me that all bets were off right now. My mind was blurred by lust. My insides were melting along with my self-control. I wanted this badly. Too badly. And when Nathaniel threw his arms around my neck and pulled me into him, I knew how badly he wanted this too. I could feel his heart racing. When I pulled away to let him breathe, I let my lips wonder elsewhere. I could feel Nathaniel turn to goo under me, feel his willingness to let me take control. Yet when he whimpered at my touch, I felt my essence tighten with a sudden, unusual worry.

Of course, I had done this before, but not like _this_; with my essence pounding, my skin burning, my many consciousnesses blank and struggling. In all honesty, the uncertainty and the vulnerability of the situation was new to me, and I was unsure. I was nervous. I didn't know what to do – I didn't know if I should let into my instincts and do what felt natural because I had never been given the chance to – all my devious masters that I had engaged in amorous activity with had always told me what to do, or I had been charged to do it. Never have I had the _choice_.

Yet, here I was, leaning over an extremely flushed Nathaniel whose heated gaze was a mix of desire and uncertainty. He was a bit short of breath, his hands shaking as they clung to my arms. I felt the heat coming off of him in waves. He made a sound in the back of his throat as I kissed him on the neck, shuddering as I teased the spot with my teeth and tongue.

"We really shouldn't be doing this, you know?" I whispered against his skin, but I contradicted my words when I continued to make a slow trail of kisses down his neck and across his collarbone. He gasped and pulled me closer.

"B-Bartimaeus..." he moaned breathlessly, his flush darkening as I brushed my mouth against his jaw. His hand moved from my arm and grasped the back of my neck, pulling my face down for more contact between my lips and his skin. His breath hitched in his throat as my hand trailed slowly down his shirt and came to rest on his abdomen. When I pressed down lightly on his lower stomach, his hand at the back of my neck griped me harder. I pulled away from his burning skin and looked him hard in the eyes.

However nervous I was, it was nothing to how Nathaniel felt. Despite his apparent voluntariness, I could feel it in the way his heart beat fast, the way his eyes widened when I touched him. He probably had no experience in this area, not even with a woman. Whilst I was used to the feeling of being touched affectionately (there was no affection on my part) by magicians, this was all new to Nathaniel. If _I_ was nervous, he was undoubtedly scared.

"Nathaniel," I said in a low voice, fiddling with the end of the boy's top as I leant down to whisper in his ear. "Are you sure this is what you want?" As an answer, his arms wrapped around my neck and pulled my face up so he could smash his lips into mine in a desperate plea. I got his message. My other hand which had been resting under Nathaniel's head came and joined my other hand at his stomach. I could feel the heat rising underneath my fingertips as I slipped just my fingers under the shirt, tracing patterns and shapes just above his belt. Nathaniel made a noise, shifting his hips, trying to create more contact with my hands. When I didn't oblige, he pulled away from my lips.

"H-Hey...!" he muttered softly, then gasped when I gave his neck a nip with my teeth. "Don't tease m-me." He hissed, frustrated, yet he let out a shaky breath when I slipped my hand under the shirt and up to his chest. I could feel his heart pounding, feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he panted.

"Ah, but that's the best part, Natty Boy..." I said quietly, pushing the fabric of his shirt up and leaning down to kiss his smooth, pale stomach. I could feel him tremble with pleasure; it sent vibrations throughout me. I smiled against his skin.

"I w-want this..." He whimpered, his fists curling up in the sheets. "So m-much..." I continued to toy with him, grazing my lips across his hips and back up again.

"I know..." I soothed gently as he gasped. I looked up and caught his eyes. They were practically begging me to do it, to press him against the mattress with my body and pleasure him until he forgot his name.

"B-Bartimaeus..." He murmured in a high voice. "I n-need you..." He yelped when my hands glided up under the rest of his shirt.

"And you shall have me." I promised.

_NOT DONE YET! Yeah, that's right... :D NEXT CHAPTER GETS GOOOOOD! If you know what I mean ;)_

_So what did you think? Writing this was kinda harder than I expected. Please leave a review! xxx_

_It may take a while to get up. I am going to be really busy, so don't expect anything to be up soon._


	5. Chapter 5

_Here it is, guys! The chapter you've all been waiting for! Its not very long. Hope it doesn't suck...ENJOY! :D_

_NATHANIEL_

"And you shall have me."

Bartimaeus' eyes were full of a burning passion I had never seen before. Its copper irises were gleaming in the gentle light; the black pupils were deep pits of desire. Those eyes never left my face. And it fuelled my fire even more. I trembled at the feelings that coursed through my veins.

"Nnnngg!" I was helpless to Bartimaeus' touch. I bit my lips when the djinni's hands caressed my chest, fingers light and probing. I tugged at the demons shirt, gripping the fabric, yet my hands were shaking too much to move them much. Bartimaeus understood though. It sat up, pulled the shirt off its head and chucked it over its shoulders. Its soft lips returned to tease my hips; it was all I could do to not cry out desperately for them to move lower.

"Your heart... it's beating so fast..." the djinni murmured into my stomach, tugging the belt of my trousers to reveal a few more inches of skin. It gave a small chuckle. "And it just gave a jump..." Despite the situation, I frowned.

"I can't help–!" I began to snap, but I gasped as a tongue flickered out onto my skin. I felt the heat within me rising, pooling between my hips. "When you do _that_..." The spirit paused for a second, a ghost of a smirk playing on its face. Its form was growing hotter to the touch every passing second.

"Relax into it..." Bartimaeus said. "You won't be able to...soon..." And when it flashed a devious smile in my direction, I felt as though my heart was going to explode. When the djinni's lips returned to my hips, I made a frustrated sound.

"Don't just...touch there..." I pleaded, yet I was enjoying every touch the djinni laid on me. My hands curled up in Bartimaeus' hair, trying to force the lips to where I needed them most. It met my hands with resistance.

"Now, now; good things come to those who wait, Nat..." Bartimaeus pointed out, smirking at my obvious displeasure. I frowned even more, now wriggling restlessly.

"D-Don't make me wait, _idiot_!" I hissed as I felt the flush on my cheeks darken. My heart was pounding with anticipation.

"Nat, given the..._situation_...I don't think insulting me is the best thing to do..." The djinni sniggered at my annoyed expression. I was just about to respond when I felt a warm hand slip into my pants.

_BARTIMAUES_

To say that he was startled was an understatement. As soon as my hand brushed against his length, he gave a huge jump; if I hadn't been leaning over him he probably would have gone flying off the bed. I stroked him gently.

"Aahh..." he whimpered, eyes fluttering closed, back arching helplessly into my touch. I hummed appreciatively as my other hand worked slowly at his belt. As my other hand brushed the bulge in his pants, he gave a small moan, hands shooting down to grip my wrists. "B-Bartimaeus..." he whispered, voice high. I knew it wasn't a cry for my attention; it was simply an acknowledgement of his obvious pleasure. I could feel my self control slipping.

When the zip on his trousers was finally undone, I ripped the trousers off of him. When I bent to place a chaste kiss on his growing problem through his pants, he gave a shudder. With that, his shirt was quickly removed. As were his socks and shoes – which I had completely forgotten about until now (hey, could you really blame me?).

My hands moved to his pants. He was trembling now, watching me with burning eyes. I caught his eye as I pulled down his underwear, giving a seductive wink. Before he could respond to my cheeky actions with what would probably have been scorn, I took in his entire length straight away.

"Hey – _oohh_...ahhh..." He moaned heavily, breathlessly as I slowly brought my lips up his manhood and pushing them slowly back down. My tongue rolled over his tip. His skin began to take on a pinkish tinge as he gasped for air between groans.

"I told you something good would come..." I said, taking my mouth off of him for a second to lick at the tip, sending him into blissful shudders of ecstasy.

"F-Faster!" he cried out between gasps. I obliged, my tongue flicking faster, my mouth pulling and pushing harder.

He was moaning constantly now, gasping between breaths. His face was flushed deep red, eyes closed in ecstasy. His hips were jerking upwards frequently, his hands clutching the sheets as he writhed underneath me. His eyes were clouded with lust yet bright with pleasure. The sight alone was nearly enough to bring me to the edge. I knew nobody else had seen him this way, and I intended to keep it that way. He was mine; mine to tease and love.

He bit his lip in a feeble attempt to hold back the weighty moan that passed through his mouth. "I-I'm...I'm–!" He stammered in a high pitched voice, his eyes growing wider by the second.

"Yes?" I whispered seductively, rolling my tongue slowly yet firmly over his tip. He moaned and turned to press the side of his face into the pillow. I continued, grinning.

"I think I-I'm gonna..._gonna_..." He yelped at the swish of my tongue.

"Go on then..." I murmured encouragingly. "Don't worry..." And with that, I took him in all the way again, feeling him brush the back of my throat. He yelled, hips bucking, limbs jerking, hands crunched up in the sheets; I felt a bitter taste flood my mouth.

Taking my mouth off him, I caught his eye and swallowed. He was shaking uncontrollably now, breathing erratically. His face was flushed a dark red.

"_W-what_..." he gasped out, dazed. I crawled up and kissed him forcibly, forcing my tongue into his mouth. He looked a little shocked at the rough move.

"We're not done yet..." I muttered huskily into his mouth. I couldn't help but snigger a little at the flash of desire that flashed across his eyes at my comment.

"What do you m-mean...?" he stammered. "We're not...finished?" I gave him a mocking pout.

"Hey, you had _your_ turn..." I said, raising an eyebrow. "Don't you think it's only fair I have _my_ turn?" He stared at me, a confused look on his face. I rolled my eyes and shifted my hips, freeing myself of my remaining clothes. Then I positioned myself so that I was between Nathaniel's legs. He cocked his head a little.

"W-What...?" He began, but I silenced him with my lips. I pressed myself into him, letting him feel what he made my body do. He gave a muffled gasp, but pressed his body back into mine. I could feel my restraint snapping with every second. I couldn't wait much longer, not when what I wanted was beneath me, willing and wanting me. My hands grabbed for his shoulders, pulling him closer into me. He threw his hands around my neck. That was all the consent I needed. Shifting myself to get comfortable, I placed my hands on either side of his face.

"Ready?" I whispered in a low voice, and before he could respond, I pushed the tip of my length into his ass.

"Ahh!" He jumped underneath me at the sensation, crying out; my hands gripping his shoulders, keeping him from moving. "It _hurts_!" His eyes widened with the sudden pain.

"N-Nathaniel!" I stammered as he jerked underneath me, causing the nerves in my body to jolt with a sudden rush of pleasure. "Relax!" I tried soothing, caressing his burning face with my thumb. I hadn't expected him to react that way. I was trying my best to not move, but my self control was at its limits. His breathing was ragged, punctured by soft whimpers. Tears were forming in his eyes.

"I c-can't!" He yelped. When I moved within him, he gave another whimper, squeezing his eyes shut. I felt the muscles in his abdomen tighten further as he gripped the sheets in a white knuckle grip. He sucked in air in short breaths. "S-Slow...down!" With great effort, I slowed my previously rough movements to a gentler, tenderer pace even though my body was screaming at me. _Faster! Harder! Deeper! _I gripped the sheets beneath me, clenching my teeth to keep myself still. Yet this was proving rather tough when Nathaniel was shaking and wriggling beneath me.

"Nathaniel..." I hissed in pleasure, fixing a piercing gaze into his eyes. "Please..._relax_...!" He made a sound of pain in the back of his throat; he stopped moving, yet I could still feel his muscles tense and shaking around me. He still had his eyes shut, his teeth bared slightly as he clenched them together. His hands held me tighter and I saw tears rolling down his cheeks. Stroking his face soothingly, I bent over and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Nathaniel's wet eyes fluttered open at the unexpected gesture.

"Ssshhh..." I soothed, one of my hands rubbing his sides lovingly to comfort the terrified boy beneath me. "Relax..." At last, he began to relax, releasing the tension in his muscles. His entrance gradually became less tight. His mouth moved with mine, kissing me back uncertainly. I shifted my arms so that they were supporting my weight properly. I ended the kiss, yet lingered enough to whisper, "you ready?" He nodded. I drew away from him slowly. He was drawing in slow, shaky breaths in an attempt to regain his composure.

"G-Give me a second..." he said quietly. I waited patiently (...ish) for him to adjust. When he shifted a tad, I took that as a sign to continue. When I pushed myself in further, he winced, but didn't cry out. I, on the other hand, was having a hard time not to moan. He was so tight, so hot...

"Ahh..." I growled into the crook of his shoulder. "_Nathaniel_..." I almost whimpered as I pulled back and pushed into him again. I heard him give a little sigh.

"Bartimaeus..." he responded, his nails digging into my back. When I moved within him again, he made a soft sound. My teeth came out and bit him gently on the neck. He gasped, arms tightening around me.

I could feel the heat pooling in my body. Even though my form wasn't really a body, I could manipulate it to act like a body would – of course, this was the only activity that I would want my form to act like a body. I was nearing my limit. I began to push harder and faster into Nathaniel, biting back the loud moans that I wanted to let loose.

"_Ooohhh_!"

Nathaniel was making small moans of pleasure. "D-Deeper..." he murmured softly. I thrust my entire length as deep as I could within him. He jerked beneath me, crying out in pure pleasure.

"_Damn_...!" I gasped out, flexing all the essence in my body as I felt the nerves in my spine shudder. "Nathaniel, I'm..." I growled out. He gripped me even tighter, and I felt his mouth on my neck, kissing at a sensitive spot. I shuddered, and then he brought my face up and pressing his lips into mine. And with the last few urgent thrusts, I was finished.

I cried out, convulsions taking over my body, sending me into complete ecstasy. My seed was sent into Nathaniel. Then I collapsed onto him, essence pounding, shaking.

Using my remaining energy, I pulled out of Nathaniel and rolled to the side. Nathaniel's hands were still wrapped around me. He never stopped holding me, even then. He was panting heavily, sweat glistening all over his body.

"Bartimaeus." I looked at him. Then he smiled at me. And for the first time in what felt like forever, I was happy. _This can't be real..._ my dazed mind mused.

"Do me a favour."

"What?" he looked confused. I reached out and pulled him towards me so that my face was nestled in the crook of his shoulder. I closed my eyes and nuzzled him.

"Skip work tomorrow." I felt him grin.

"Don't you mean this morning?" he teased, but I felt him relax into me.

"Shut up." All was silent for a few minutes, then... "Nathaniel?"

"Yes?"

"I..." I faltered, a little too embarrassed to voice what I was thinking. "Well...I love..." I trailed off. Nathaniel turned his head, his soft dark hair tickling my forehead. His eyes searched mine enquiringly.

"Bartimaeus."

"Mm?"

"I love you."

"Show off..." And with that, Nathaniel smiled and closed his eyes. I could tell by his steady breathing and his limp body that it wouldn't take long at all for him to fall asleep. But I made sure he was asleep when I muttered my next words.

"I love you, too."

And, just then, I could have sworn that he smiled.

_Please leave a review! I think this will be the last chapter...not sure though. All depends on what you guys want... leave a comment and tell me! x_


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